Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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