brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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