You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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