At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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