As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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