Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
