i don't like sucking hair
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
