I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
