It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
