y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
