Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
