What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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