just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
