i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
