I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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