I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
