Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
