i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
