I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize