He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
