Porn is love you can see.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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