Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
