All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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