I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
