He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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