PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
