i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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