Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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