I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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