There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
