our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
