it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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