He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
