i can't believe i had my finger in that
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
