i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize