u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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