Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
