Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
vagina is talking i cant
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
