I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
