i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
