I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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