It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
