Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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