Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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