I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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