so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
