Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
