OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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