I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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