youre lurking in front of me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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