She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
