Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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