those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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