Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize