We named our party play list daddy issues
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
