Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
