The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
