Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
