Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
