So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
