Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
